Hook-ups and heartbreak: The problem with our generation’s concept of relationships

“Boys only want one thing,” my father used to say to me. I thought that thing was friendship, but my father would always reply, “boys don’t want to be your friend.”

It’s the classic case of father knows best. My dad repeated those precautionary lines so frequently throughout my high school years that it became a mission of mine to prove him wrong. But once I got to college and began interacting with the opposite gender in a more romantic way, I realized yet again, daddy was right.

Well, partially right. Guys definitely want to be your friend, but not without benefits, and they rarely want a relationship title included. The same goes for girls.

Relationships seem to be a taboo topic in college today, as if they are a plague to be avoided. They are recommended only for those lost in love. Though, even with the negative connotation that the relationship possesses, it has not been entirely abandoned by the university scene; instead, it has been modernized in the form of hook-up buddies.

“Hook-up buddy” is a condescending term used by men and women alike to condone a lack of commitment. What would have once been referred to as using somebody is now a sought-after role. Individuals use each other simply to satisfy their carnal needs, and the whole act is justified based on the sole fact that it is mutual.

Regardless of what is decided prior to this pseudo-relationship, one person is bound to get more attached than the other, and someone will get hurt. Do we really need to question why so many marriages today end up in divorce?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that for every 1,000 people in the United States in 2011, the marriage rate was only 6.8 percent while the divorce rate was close behind at 3.6 percent. Meanwhile, the National Institute of Mental Health reports that depression affects an astounding 9.5 percent of the current population. Could not divorce and depression be the side effects of a generation that took the once selfless concept of a relationship and turned it into a selfish delusion?

It doesn’t help that people are labeled as “wife material” or “husband material” –a slap in the face dressed up like a compliment. People use this to put the good girls and guys on a sort of layaway, as if they will be around in a few years when the opposite party is ready to settle down.

To each his own method of living, right? Who am I to judge the actions of another? But this style of relationships exceeds an optional lifestyle choice; it has become the standard operating procedure of dating. People with positive intentions, who are willing to give their hearts and trust to another individual, are the ones getting hurt. I see it everywhere – in my friends’ lives and in my own.

The dating pool is polluted, and it is impossible to wade through without getting covered in debris. One person may think that he or she is entering a relationship when the other participant sees it as much less. This happens all too often, because intentions are never vocalized.

Activities that prelude becoming involved in a true relationship, such as conversation, flirting and simply spending time alone together, are the same as those that prelude becoming involved as hook-up buddies. How is one to distinguish between a budding romance and a mere physical attraction?

Is the point of this article to insinuate that you need to find a serious relationship in college? Absolutely not. If it happens, let it. If it doesn’t happen, let it go. And if you have gusto in leading another individual on, you can at least inform them of your intent beforehand. It’s beyond common courtesy; it’s called being a decent person.

19th District Legislator Elections: A Breakdown of the Issues

If you are a citizen of the 19th district of Nassau County chances are you know the platforms of executive candidates Edward Mangano and Tom Suozzi; but do you know the policies of your legislative candidates Steve Rhoads and Dave Denenberg?

“I would vote if I knew the person I was voting for was going to do something beneficial for me” said Nassau County resident of over a decade, Joan Brady. “I don’t know where either candidate stands on county issues.”

The legislative elections for the 19th district of Nassau County had three profile county problems: recovering from Hurricane Sandy, consolidating of police precincts in Nassau, and controlling the county budget. Before casting your ballot on November 5th, make sure to see where each candidate stands on the issues.

The Issue: Hurricane Sandy

The 19th district of Nassau County which encompasses Merrick, Seaford, Bellmore, North Bellmore, and Freeport were hit heavily last year during Hurricane Sandy. In Seaford, one in five houses are still damaged and many families throughout the entire district are still recovering from the damages.

Dave Denenberg Solution: The current incumbent held over thirty workshops to help Hurricane Sandy victims in addition to numerous county official meetings to discuss the reconstruction. He proposes a Hurricane Sandy bill which forces insurance companies to pay the storm victims within 30 days or give a “good faith reason” why they cannot supply the money. The filer of the claim can respond to that and the 30 days starts again. If still not paid, the filer can bring the insurance company to court with a Private Right of Action.

“Thirty to 60 days should be more than enough time” said Denenberg “Responses need to be quicker and bureaucracy cannot move this slowly.”

Steve Rhoads Solution: The challenger believes there should be more volunteer efforts to help those affected by the storm. Rhoads, a previous fire captain of the Wantagh Volunteer Fire Department, was out with the fire department during the hurricane. Resources such as money and food were coming in, but were not being delivered efficiently to those in need. In regards to the proposed Hurricane Sandy bill, Rhoads believes it only sounds good on paper. He says it will not work because the county does not have the ability to regulate what banks and insurance companies do. Instead he proposes the county work with federal and state officials who have the ability to process these claims faster.

“The bill only victimized Hurricane Sandy victims a second time because it gave them hope in an area where really there was no hope to be found.”

The Issue: Consolidation of Police Precincts in Nassau The original plan called for eight precincts of Nassau County to be consolidated into four to better utilise and organize the police staff. The closed precincts would then be converted into “community policing centers.” The plan is now being reconsidered on the South Shore after the Seventh Precinct building was flooded during Superstorm Sandy.

Dave Denenberg Solution: Denenberg has been a strong opposer of the consolidation of police precincts since the plan was initiated. The consolidation would increase costs as well as eliminate special patrols such as the bureau of special operations and the emergency task force. Wants to remove consolidation in 1st and 7th precincts.

“We pay a lot in taxes and we deserve good services. that starts with public safety.”

Steve Rhoads Solution: Stands with the administration for trying something new in regards to the police. He believes now that it has been partially implemented it is time to see if any readjustments or redirecting of the plan needs to happen. Pushes for both Republicans and Democrats to participate in the process of utilizing the police resources and staff they have in place.  Rhoads believes the main issue of public safety right now is the growing drug and gang problem within Nassau County.

“I hope to fight to be able to have the resources to be able to curb that drug and gang problem.”

Dave Denenberg Solution: Wants to remove any backdoor tax increases implemented by the county executive such as sewer taxes, passing of the county assessment refunds unto schools and fire districts. Says the county executive wants to sell the sewage plant for an 800 million dollar budget fix but Denenberg wants 700 million invested in the plants. This will to projects such as pollution control devices which will ultimately balance the budget.  Want to keep taxes down by developing the downtown area. Right now he is working with the mayor of Freeport to open a high tech center.

“Eleven out the 13 years that I’ve been on legislature, the county portion of your taxes have not gone up. The county portion of your property tax went from 25 percent in 2000 to less that 16 percent right now.”
Steve Rhoads Solution: Proposes a review of every level of government to see that taxpayer money is being used as little as possible. Also believes municipal contracts such as medical benefits and pensions need to be adjusted.  Rhoads claims that Nassau County makes more money off of sales tax revenue than it does property tax.

“We need to find ways to encourage business development and economic activity so that we can increase the sales tax revenue we receive not by raising taxes but by just having more activity.”

In Christy’s Shoes: A Memorial Fundraiser Filled With Heart and Sole

In Christy’s Shoes: A Memorial Fundraiser Filled With Heart and Sole

In Christy’s Shoes is an organization that puts a different meaning behind the phrase “take a walk in someone’s shoes.” The annual benefit was started in 2009 by Katrina Zidel in memory of her identical twin sister Christy Levy Peters.

Peters passed away at the age of 34 from astrocytoma, an inoperable terminal brain tumor. Christy left a positive memory on her husband and two children as well as all who had the privilege of knowing her.

Katrina had one of the closest relationships with Christy and wanted to honor the memory of her courageous and outgoing sister. Looking to Christy’s life she saw her love for shoes almost matched her love for helping others. Katrina sought to memorialize both, thus starting In Christy’s Shoes.

In Christy’s Shoes partnered up with Dress for Success Columbus, a non-profit organization that provided under privileged women seeking to get back into the workforce resources, clothing and shoes. Over the years, In Christy’s Shoes has become the biggest annual fundraiser for Dress for Success Columbus bringing in over about 500 people and $40,000 in 2012.

The event first started as a place for people to donate their clothing and shoes but has now progressed into a gala. The gala features food that is donated by restaurants, a shoe fashion show and a silent auction. Celebrities from around the country have donated autographed shoes to be auctioned such as Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian and Eva Longoria.

May 22nd of this year was the 4th annual In Christy’s Shoes event and was hosted at Charles Preparatory School. The event hosted around 650 guests and featured famous shoe designer Aruna Seth.

What started off as a small memorial fundraiser has now turned into a larger organization. The first fundraiser in 2009 featured 75 guests and this year’s event has multiplied its guests 8 times over.

Zidel began donating some of the proceeds from the event to Zusman Hospice at Wexner Heritage Village where her sister had passed away. She hopes the event will continue to grow and spread to other cities outside of Columbus so that she can start furthering her donations and even start funding scholarships. If you have any interest in attending or donating to Zidel’s event visit www.inchristysshoes.org.

One Step Towards Professional Journalism: Objectivity

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The sudden outburst in the usage of the term “professional journalism” makes me wonder if previous decades of journalists have been unprofessional in their field. A journalist’s job has had the same description since it’s creation in the early 1800’s: tell people what is happening throughout the world. The politics and money behind news stations have made it common for journalists to report news from their paper’s perspective. You want to keep your job, you report a certain way.

According to InTheseTimes.com, professional journalism has exploded recently. Partisan journalism is no longer the standard and in most cases it is disregarded as actual news. Objectivity in journalism allows the reader and viewer to postulate their own opinions based upon the facts given by the reporter.

While media is still driven by money and politics the expansion of technology has allowed many to speak against one perspective journalism. Journalists are no longer found as employees for big companies signing off their objectivity in their contracts. Journalists are everywhere and have the ease of tools such as their smartphones to record nonpartisan news.

Although journalism has always had the purpose of providing news to citizens the objectivity of it has been questionable over the years. Today’s journalists not only have to use more visuals over written word to adhere to their audience, they must report the news in an unbiased fashion. Today, you want to be a professional journalist, report objectively.

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Image courtesy of Lyn.

OneRepublic Helps Raise Awareness for Child Mortality with Hit Song

Never underestimate the power of music; Grammy Award-nominated band OneRepublic has proven that a simple song can have the power to save millions of children’s lives.

On March 31st, a special edition music video, created by the ad agency BBDO, of the band’s hit song “Feel Again” was released in an effort to raise awareness of newborn and child mortality.

“Feel Again” was initially part of the PSA campaign by Save the Children and the AD Council entitled “Every Beat Matters”. The song was created using the heartbeat of children who were suffering from deadly illness or poverty in villages of Guatemala and Malawi.

According to The World Health Organization, 6.9 million children died before the age of 5 in 2011. Children in sub-Saharian Africa are 16.5 times more likely to die before the age of five. The leading causes of deaths for children under the age of five are:

Pneumonia

18%

Preterm birth complications

14%

Diarrhoea

11%

Birth asphyxia

9%

Malaria

7%

Other Causes

41%

Child mortality is a serious issue affecting many outside the American borders and action is needed. Much of the deaths are caused either due to a lack of knowledge or medicine to treat diseases.

You help reduce these numbers by donating. A simple $50 donation can supply a respiration timer and antibiotics to diagnose and treat pneumonia, a bed net and treatment for malaria, and counseling for parents on preventing HIV/AIDS in a newborn child. Join OneRepublic, in their quest to save the children by donating today.